Archive for January, 2008

Guitar Hero III

I don’t know how many of you have played the newest PS2 installment of Guitar Hero, but it has this horrible feature called Guitar Battle where you play against a boss and win by sabotaging the other dude’s guitar. (editor’s note: ?) Take the concept of fun, turn it upside down, and that’s pretty much how this part of the game works.

Guitar Hero III does have a phat song selection, including the baddest-ass leftist protest song ever, “Bulls on Parade”. But as for the battle, I call it the worst offense toward an awesome video game franchise since Contra: Legacy of War.

Clever Photo Essay

I’m not into pushing work projects on this site per se, but this photo essay is clever on the for real. Be sure to check out Darren Garnick’s effort to get his baby photographed with all the presidential candidates.

Sprint Bearded Dude Commercial

There’s been this one ad on all the time during football this season, the one where the bearded dude is talking about how this Sprint service makes it seem like there are multiple copies of a person. It has lots of miniature copies of people running around.

My question is, what is the bearded dude’s accent? He sounds mostly Irish, but then he mixes it up enough that I have no idea.

These are the questions on which I think deeply.

Firefox

Though I’m a huge Firefox booster, lately version 2.0.0.11 has been eating up virtual memory like a fat dude at a Louisiana Chinese buffet. And that’s both on my home PC (which is mad old) and work PC (which is still sorta old but faster, like Bruce Smith in his waning days.) Version 3.0, now in beta development, is supposed to fix the memory leaks, but if you use version 2.0, be sure you close firefox.exe from the Windows Task Manager now and then.

And if you use a Mac, you should probably be visiting condescendinghipstercult.com instead. At the moment, nobody’s registered that. Now’s your shot to create the web’s most accurately named Mac community!

Nine Steelerless Months

Time to become a full-time hockey fan again.

• I went in expecting an uphill battle for the Steelers, and by halftime was ready to turn the game off. Then they managed to get my hopes up just enough in the fourth quarter to make it that much more of a crushing blow. The 2007 Steelers: Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in.
• There were many plays today where Willie Parker could have broken extra yards that Najeh Davenport — while a good third-down back — couldn’t get. The Steelers definitely came out determined to avoid the up-the-gut runs that were pwned by Jacksonville in the last game, but when Fast W. is out with a broken leg, it isn’t as effective as it could have been.
• That said, I thought Roethlisberger did an adequate job leading the offense with the running game in such poor shape. While after the first drive — which was great — his first-half performance was hideous, dude tends to play so well in the second half that it’s almost offset. The difference today was the three interceptions: while he often plays just meh in the first half, it’s rarely with so many turnovers that lead to easy points. His second-half self was just what we all expected: rocking the Elway comeback ability — even if he often does dig his own hole — but with ultimately too many cracks in the supporting cast around him to make it work.
• I still think Hines Ward is the best clutch receiver in the NFL. The referees should have awarded him two points on that conversion play just for the catch alone. I guess non-existent holding penalties are always a good excuse.
• Injuries sure are a bitch.
• Trai Essex, my fellow NU alum: I thought you played pretty well. You played like a starter, which is more than can be said for the rest of the offensive line in the second half of this season. If you were playing for your upcoming free agency, at least it benefited the Steelers today.
• The Steelers don’t have too many big-name players up for free agency this year save Alan Faneca, but I can’t say I’m sold on this lineup for another Super Bowl run. I can’t think of a glaring weakness, but something has just been off anyway in the past two seasons. Even in the Super Bowl year, they really overachieved to get that victory.
• I don’t want to be Bob Ligashesky this off-season.
• All things said and done, NBC did get the obligatory molten-steel B-roll shot that goes with any televised Pittsburgh event. That’s a victory in itself.

Penguins, bring it.

“I Ain’t That Fat, I Only Weigh 277″

Awesome:

Yahoo! News

UPDATE: Mark Coatney posts the exact “No Come Here Anymore” routine by that one fat-dude comedian that popped into my head when initially reading this story.

And then there’s the Simpsons episode in which Homer sues the Sea Captain for kicking him out of the all-you-can-eat buffet. Yar, that one was even seafood-related too.

More Winter Classic

Seems the game got the highest rating of any NHL regular-season game in 11 years. The strongest numbers came from the Buffalo and Pittsburgh markets (naturally) but the game also drew big numbers in Sacramento (?).

Then there’s this amusing account, which scores points for the black-jeans Pittsburgh insult. Touché, homes.

Winter Classic: The Review

It went well. Here’s why:

• If I were a more cynical dude, I’d say the NHL scripted that game in advance and then played it out like pro wrestling. Taking the game to a shootout that rests on the final breakaway, by the game’s biggest star, who slides it in to win? Fixing a hockey game though seems particularly difficult: Chris Pronger leads the NHL in ice time per game right now, and he’s still out there for less than half of the game. You could try buying off the goalie, but what’s the likelihood you can pay both goalies to maintain a 1-1 tie and have them deliver?

  Then there’s the fact that people tend to bet on sports that are popular, so I think it’s a very high likelihood that we’ll see the end of ice occurring in nature before we run into a massive goal-shaving scandal.

• My favorite thing about this outdoor game idea is that it unintentionally does what the NHL should have done all along in the disastrous 1990s: it focuses on the existing fan base. Bill Clement wrote a piece for MSNBC before the game where he pointed out that random TV watchers are likely to see a few seconds of outdoor hockey, stop and watch with interest, then potentially become hockey fans. You’re still talking about a crazy disconnect in most of the country: nobody living in Phoenix even experiences winter, much less nostalgia for frozen-pond hockey. But the people who already follow hockey, who have been saying for years that the game isn’t what it used to be, eat that purist-hockey stuff up: tickets to today’s game sold out 30 minutes after being offered. So while the NHL probably had the same fans in mind who’ve been ignoring hockey for 10 years even as pro teams opened up shop in their home cities, the whole idea is hella cool to pre-existing fan dudes like me.
• Penguins throwback jerseys: it worked, though I wish they had been the all-yellow jerseys from the ’70s. I can’t seem to find a pic, even when I googled “Rick Kehoe”. What good are you, Internet?
• I haven’t seen a dude get hit like Brooks Orpik did in a long while. I thought I was watching NFL Films by mistake.

Out.

Posted January 1, 2008 at 11:53 pm | Link | Tags: Hockey | No Comments »