Bar Songs Worthy of Hate

3. “Don’t Stop Believing”, Journey – Yes, I do like this song. You like it too. So do your twelve friends. So does that annoying bar chick and her husband-hunting friends. So does the guy who says “bro” who’s just here to “cut loose with my boys”. These people indicate that the Journey trend has become way too popular to be ironically ahead of the game anymore. Sorry, Kevin.

2. “Living on a Prayer”, Bon Jovi – Again, I like this one. It brings back phat memories of Dance Marathon and Northwestern. Except that all those DJs who feel the need to pause the track during “whoaOOOOH! LIVING ON A PRAYER!” make me relive it a little too often, so hearing it all the time makes me feel like that dude who hangs around the college campus just a little too long after he graduates. And I am not that dude. I follow the “one visit after departure” rule very strictly here, Internet. Respect that.

1. “Sweet Caroline”, Neil Diamond – I don’t like this song. At all. In fact, I’ve hated it since I was a kid and my parents rocked “Oldies – 3WS” back in the car-radio day. Neil Diamond isn’t even a very good singer. Singing onomatopoeia doesn’t hold much of an appeal either: verbalized sounds aren’t lyrics, homes. If I go to a bar and the DJ rocks the track-stop for this one too (he’s probably already done it for Bon Jovi), I’m future-skipping that bar with the quickness. Also, Red Sox fans: baseball is boring. Sorry to tell you.

Tonight I had TV dinner and a beer. I am 1950s mantastic. What.